someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Is that strawberry winking at me??
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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