I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
