Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
