Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.