All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
where are you?
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.