First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
