i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?