Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(310): View more from California

i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret

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(205): View more from Alabama

i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!

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(708): View more from Illinois

She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid

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(810): View more from Michigan

Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you

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Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(317): View more from Indiana

Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.

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(913): View more from Kansas

Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.

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(602): View more from Arizona

I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?

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(518): View more from New York

Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you

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(204): View more from Manitoba

Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.

(1-204): View more from Manitoba

I don't have a cat..?

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