this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
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