Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
