i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Just high enough for therapy.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
