thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize