PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
