I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
