Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
