After last night, I could never be a politician.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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