The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
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She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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