just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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