if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
