I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
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