I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize