Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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