Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
I did not marry a roomba.
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