I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
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Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
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I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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