Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
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