I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Randomize
