You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Randomize