Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
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i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
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Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
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