bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
