I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
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