Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize