Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
