Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
vagina is talking i cant
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
