lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
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