she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
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