nut hugger
pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
i wish my penis had a tongue
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
Randomize
