so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Randomize
