im about as happy as oj after his trial
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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