Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
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