I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
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