butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize