I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Randomize
