Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
