I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
