I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Randomize
