in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Randomize
