We won't sleep together?
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Randomize
