from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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