Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
and i looked up. we had an audience...
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
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