I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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