Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry makkelm52 hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(586): View more from Michigan

Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24

(1-586): View more from Michigan

Sounds like a baby waitign to happen

Fav 3 1174 1427
share tweet
(815): View more from Illinois

Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me

Fav 2 1387 785
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(814): View more from Pennsylvania

i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.

(1-814): View more from Pennsylvania

compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.

Fav 16 1208 4160
share tweet
(402): View more from Nebraska

i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.

Fav 31 5520 758
share tweet
(305): View more from Florida

why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?

Fav 18 888 5968
share tweet
(814): View more from Pennsylvania

Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?

Fav 29 1171 4263
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(484): View more from Pennsylvania

Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.

Fav 9 5071 1117
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(402): View more from Nebraska

He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.

Fav 9 1135 2264
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(813): View more from Florida

My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.

Fav 0 147 126
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT