they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize
