marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
