No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
