im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
