since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize