So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
