There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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