Is it because I queefed?
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
