Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Randomize
