There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
