you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize