Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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