Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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