Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Randomize
