When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
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