if only i could text you this smell
what day is it and did you see me today?
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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